Teaching children what to do if they become separated from a parent or caregiver is an essential part of community safety. For many neurodiverse children, simply telling them what to do is often not enough. Children learn best when information is presented visually, taught repeatedly, and practiced in calm, predictable environments. The My Lost and Found Safety Social Story was created to help children understand exactly what to do if they become lost while reducing anxiety through consistent routines, visual supports, and positive rehearsal. This approach is consistent with Carol Gray's Social Stories™, which are designed to help children understand social situations by providing clear, meaningful, and supportive information (Gray, 2021).
Why Use a Social Story?
Why Use a Social Story?
Social stories are evidence-informed tools that help children understand situations that may be confusing or stressful. Rather than emphasizing danger or fear, social stories teach children what they can do to remain safe by breaking complex situations into simple, manageable steps (Gray, 2021). In this social story, children learn a predictable four-step routine that promotes confidence, self-regulation, and problem solving while reinforcing that trusted adults are available to help. The story teaches four key safety steps:
🛑 STOP
👣 STAY
🙋 ASK FOR HELP
💬 SHARE MY INFORMATION
Presenting these steps in the same sequence throughout the story helps children remember and retrieve the routine more easily during real-life situations.
Planning Ahead Before Community Outings
Planning Ahead Before Community Outings
One of the key principles incorporated into this social story is Planning Ahead, a strategy from the Triple P – Positive Parenting Program. Planning Ahead encourages parents to prepare children before entering potentially challenging situations by discussing expectations, teaching appropriate behaviours, and rehearsing skills in advance. Research has shown that proactive parenting strategies such as Planning Ahead help children develop self-regulation, confidence, and adaptive behaviours while reducing the likelihood of behavioural difficulties during community activities (Sanders, 2012).
Before visiting a grocery store, shopping mall, park, library, zoo, recreation centre, or other public place, families are encouraged to review the social story together. Parents can identify customer service desks, information centres, and trusted helpers wearing uniforms, badges, or name tags. Asking children simple questions such as "What will you do if you can't find me?" allows them to mentally rehearse the safety routine before it is ever needed. Teaching children these skills proactively is far more effective than attempting to teach them during an emergency.
Before Reading the Story
Before Reading the Story
Choose a quiet environment with minimal distractions and introduce the story when your child is calm. Reading the story before community outings helps children connect the information to real-life situations.
Personalize the story by writing your child's name on the cover and completing the emergency information card with your family's information. Personalization increases engagement and helps children relate the story to their own experiences.
Introduce the story positively by saying:
"Today we're going to learn what to do if you ever can't find me. This is something we practice so you can stay safe."
Reading the Story Together
Reading the Story Together
Read the story slowly and allow your child time to observe each illustration. Pause after each panel to discuss what is happening and how the character may be feeling.
Helpful questions include:
"What happened?"
"What should the child do next?"
"Who is helping?"
"How is the child feeling?"
"Why is this a safe choice?"
Keep conversations supportive rather than testing your child's memory. The goal is to build understanding and confidence.
Reinforce the Four Safety Steps
Reinforce the Four Safety Steps
After reading the story, review each safety step together.
🛑 STOP
Teach your child to stop walking immediately when they realize they cannot find their grown-up. Continuing to search independently can increase confusion and make reunification more difficult.
👣 STAY
👣 STAY
Encourage your child to remain in one safe place or stay beside an identifiable trusted helper. Explain that parents often return to the last location where they saw their child.
🙋 ASK FOR HELP
🙋 ASK FOR HELP
Help your child learn how to identify trusted helpers by their role rather than their appearance. Examples include store employees wearing name tags, police officers, firefighters, librarians, security guards, customer service staff, and parents caring for children.
Practice saying: "Excuse me... I'm lost."
💬 SHARE MY INFORMATION
💬 SHARE MY INFORMATION
Help your child learn or carry important information, including:
Their full name
Parent or caregiver's name
Parent or caregiver's phone number
Home address
For children who cannot yet memorize this information, consider using an identification bracelet, backpack tag, communication device, or laminated safety information card.
Use Visual Supports During Community Outings
Use Visual Supports During Community Outings
Visual supports are particularly helpful for many autistic and neurodiverse children because they provide concrete reminders during potentially stressful situations. Before entering a community location, briefly review the four safety steps together and identify trusted helpers within the environment.
Families may also wish to carry a small visual reminder or personalized safety information card in a backpack or pocket to reinforce learning and increase independence.
Practice Through Role-Play
Practice Through Role-Play
Children learn best through repeated practice. After reading the story, role-play different community situations in familiar places such as grocery stores, libraries, shopping malls, parks, or recreation centres.
Encourage your child to practise the complete routine:
Stop walking.
Stay where they are.
Find a trusted helper.
Say, "Excuse me... I'm lost."
Share or show important information.
Wait calmly until their parent or caregiver arrives.
Role-play provides opportunities for children to rehearse these skills in a supportive environment before they encounter an actual emergency.
Continue Practicing
Continue Practicing
Learning community safety is an ongoing process. Review the social story regularly, particularly before community outings or visits to unfamiliar places. Repeated exposure, practice, and discussion help children retain the information and apply it more confidently in real-life situations.
Teaching children what to do if they become lost should never be about creating fear. Instead, it is about empowering children with practical skills that increase their confidence and independence while promoting safer participation in their communities. Research supports the use of structured visual teaching (Gray, 2021), proactive parenting strategies such as Planning Ahead (Sanders, 2012), and explicit instruction in personal safety for autistic children (National Autistic Society, 2023). By combining these evidence-informed approaches, families can help children develop lifelong community safety skills in a calm, supportive, and reassuring manner.
References
References
Gray, C. (2021). The new social story book (15th anniversary expanded ed.). Future Horizons.
National Autistic Society. (2023). Personal safety. https://www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/topics/behaviour/personal-safety
Sanders, M. R. (2012). Development, evaluation, and multinational dissemination of the Triple P–Positive Parenting Program. Annual Review of Clinical Psychology, 8, 345–379. https://doi.org/10.1146/annurev-clinpsy-032511-143104
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